Evil wish game!

Granted. You are ingulfed in darkness. The only thing you can hear is the soft sloshing of water up against soft tissue. You realize that you have been swalowed whole by a gigantic shark.(nope, theres no biblical whale here, he asked for a fish.)

I wish that I could be painted with white wash.

Granted. Sadly, you die in a horrible fashion by the toxics you get into your system by being painted that way.

I wish time would go so fast!

Granted, time goes so fast that you are at the point when the sun supernovas and you die a horrible, fiery, painful death.

I wish that I could go to hell and kill Satan

^good one!

Granted. But you realize you ARE Satan and just committed suicide.

I wish monkeys ruled the planet.

Granted... The King of Monkeys wants you as his slave though, and you spend the rest of yours days picking thicks out of his hide.

I wish I had my old appartment back!

Garmar, the wish I granted or the wish I wished?

granted, but a construction crew scheduled to demo the building next to your apartment accidentally hits your appartment... with you inside.

I wish I could meet Aristotle.

Granted, but he turns out to be a babling and drooling idiot. Turns out it wasn't him after all that came up with all those clever thoughts.

I wish I hadn't drank so much coffee

Granted, you instead drink a lot of energy drinks and die of a heartattack.

I wish that Final Fantasy XIII would come out sooner.

Granted. When it comes out, it turns out they ran out of budget and made the worst game ever.

I wish I had a new watch!

Granted, you get the omnitrix, but vilgax comes and cuts your arm off.

I wish for an awesome sword.

[offtopic]
DB, maybe it's my lack of the English knowledge, but I really have no idea what omnitrix or vilgax means
[/offtopic]

wow am I really the only one who watches ben 10?

I think you are! hahaha. Naw, I heard of it but dont know all the knowledge behind it all.

Ok, u get get the watch but find out, horribly that it just turns you into a little old lady with a handbag filled with sucking candies.

I wish I could get a decent nights sleep!

Just because Deathblade's wish wasn't granted yet, I will now! You get your awesome sword. It is awesomer that awesome and sharper than sharp! But, unlucky you, one day you trip and fall on your own sword, cutting yourself in two.

Fayte: granted! You sleep so long you get to work late. OOPS! You got fired... Again.

I wish I hadn't run out of tape.

Granted you become duct tape woman, but you stick to everything now.

I wish, I wish I was a fish

Granted. You are arrested for plagiarism.

I wish...

not granted!

I wish that I busted out of jail

Granted, but you get arrested again half an hour after you escape.

I wish I could stop smoking right now.

Granted, you immediately stop smoking, but you're now an alcoholic.

I wish that life wasn't so complex

LOL I didn't see that one comin an alcoholic, me!

Granted. Life is easy, there are no obstacles on your path any more. For months, you live a blissful life, enjoying the fact that everything you have to do is easy. And then boredom strikes. Your progress to adulthood stagnates and you become so depressed that you throw yourself off a bridge.

I wish I wasn't an alcoholic!

granted, now your a crack addict.

I wish that Aristotle wasn't a retard.

Granted. He's lost his tongue, arms and legs though, so he will have to communicate by blinking. Before you have come to learn how to speak with him, you both have died of old age.

I wish my withdrawal symptoms would stop happening (yes, ladies and gents, I actually quit smoking!).

Granted. They stop! But only because you started smoking again

I wish I wasn't such a sadistic asshole.

Granted, you're the kindest person on earth and everyone wants to beat you up. Good thing you don't mind them though.

I wish that I learned blinking language.

Granted. But since I, the granter of wishes, have no idea what 'blinking language' is, I instead gave you a tail and a pair of horns. Cool right?

Three days later, you are burned at the stake by a group of chatolic fanatics.

I wish there was no religion.