Evil wish game!

Granted, the haunting of Freeflow continues.

I wish that mr_Sprb_skrbblz_pwnz could haunt with me.

granted... skrbblz haunts the hotties, and deathblade has all the other people in life(you actually get the majority of people that way)...

i wish that dinosaurs still existed...

granted but they end up killing the already dead skrbblz again and now he has to go through the digestive tract

I wish that I could come back to life

granted... you come back as an 8 y/o and work at a sweatshop in Calcutta...

i wish global warming would just happen already if i'm dead...

Granted. The world warms a nice three degrees and the cold areas become much nicer to live in and the whole world turns into a general paradise that you can't be a part of

I wish I had street cred

(I think you're saying street credit so this is about the best I can do)

Granted, your street cred is so high that it attracts other gangs to you, you end up dying in a quadrupal crossfire of SMGs and RPGs.

I wish that I was a witness to something.

granted, you witness a killing... problem is, you're tied up right next to the victim you witnessed being killed... good luck...

i wish that healthcare wasn't so ridiculous in the States...

Granted. There is no more health care to be ridiculous in the states and millions of people die because of you. Thanks asshole.
I wish didn't have to sleep

granted... you die due to the lack of health care in the states, asshole...

i wish for wishes to go well...

Granted. The universe implodes in paradox.

I wish the universe were back.

Granted, but it comes back with love, peace, and my little ponies roaming free everywhere, from the state of sheer shock you kill yourself.

I wish that I was a benevolent My Little Pony ruler.

Granted. you re now a My Little Pony ruler. People use you to measure centimetres. You have a wonderful life. Then again, you wouldn't know, since a ruler is an inanimated object.

I wish things returned to normal

Granted, the rich life you once had in the My Little Pony universe now crumbles back down to your life in the one room apartment, trying to pay for science college, and having a 9-5 job as the pizza delivery biker in New York City, you're also a newspaper photographer. No you do not get bitten by a radioactive spider thus becoming spider-lad.

I wish that I was a compass and not a ruler.

Granted. Still an inanimated object. How is this an improvement?

I wish I knew what 'it' is in the sentence; "I have it!"

granted, you discover that it is the eternal demon IT who will come to destroy the world, upon discovering the secret you prophesie the doomsday. People ignore you and 2 months later, the world is destroyed.

I wish that my compass could walk around.

Granted, but you can only walk on the full moon of the leap year at 3:26 am. Oh, and you're still an inanimate object the rest of the time.

I wish I was the ultimate authority of the earth.

Granted, you become a god king on earth and the real God smites you causing you to lose power and authority and you're sent to purgatory.

I wish that I was reanimated.

Granted, you are reanimated. However, you are reanimated by a necromancer and you have no free will. In fact, you can't even tell that you are reanimated.

I wish that I had the ability to make people shut up.

Granted. Every time you take a breath, everyone in the world shuts up. The world is now in chaos, as communication dies every 2 seconds or so. Just hope we don't find out it's your fault

I wish I knew the wish to which there was no evil outcome, and still being able to recover from this wishes bad outcome to I can wish for that one perfect wish.

Granted! But because you have accomplished this, you have found the secret to making the Evil Wish Game un-evil, and thus have irrevocably broken the game. Way to go.

I wish I could go to Scotland.

Granted. You go to Scotland on a free vacation that is only free if you wear a kilt the entire time. When walking over a grating air blows up and someone snaps a Marylin Monroe-esque shot of you trying to keep your kilt down and yet still manages to capture the fact that nobody knows what Scotsmen wear under their kilts because you are Canadian. The picture is published on the internet within thirty seconds and your parents and the guy you just interviewed for your dream job see that not to mention that because of the Scottish vs. Canadian Underthings Uncertainty you have now caused an international incident.

Happy vacation, huh?


I wish I could take a vacation.

Granted! You get to come with me to Scotland! Two problems though; a) you directly observed the Kilt Incident and, in addition to being horrified and scarred forever at the sight, you are now swamped by the press asking constant questions. b) You lose all former sense of identity and become known as 'the friend of That Guy In The Kilt'.

I wish I could keep a pair of sunglasses intact for more than a year.

Granted. Due to a freak cooking accident while making pot pie your glasses get wealded to your face and last five years before doctors manage to figure a way to safely detact the glasses without taking your eyes with them.

I wish I knew what a mediphorical danceing monkey was...

Granted. The knoweledge however, is mind blowing, in a very real and actual way. Tiny pieces of grey matter all over your parents' favorite couch! They will never forgive you, and so they won't show up at your funeral, either.


I wish I could attend the funeral, but I'm afraid I have plans.

Granted, your plans where to marry the girl of your dreams but she gets hit by a bus. Not just any buss, a short bus, causing the short bus to flip further cripling the already disordered individuals inside of it. (I'm a horrible person) Its ok though, because now you can attend the funeral.

Here lies Chad,
He never followed a Fad,
And his tastes in clothes was BAD,
Even ask his Dad
But don't be to Sad,
He didn't die Mad

I wish my cat was a tiger instead of just a tigger.