Ten Commandments of Cookies

1. I am the Cookie thy Snack. Thou shalt have no other snacks before me.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any non-cookie snack; thou shalt not bow thy mouth down to them, nor serve them. For I the Cookie thy Snack am a jealous snack.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Cookie thy Snack in vain, for Foxee will not hold him guiltless, who taketh its name in vain.

4. Remember the Cookie-baking day, to keep it holy.

5. Honor thy Cookie and thy Foxee, that thy days may be long upon the earth.

6. Thou shalt not kill; except for the Cookie.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery; except for the Cookie.

8. Thou shalt steal nothing except a Cookie.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor, unless in so doing, thou aquirest a cookie.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's...except his cookie.
[Thank you Teele for King J-ing it]

Oh you heretics, the Ten Commandments, most sacred to us believers, need work still! Thy shall improve these commandments, and you newly appointed high priest shall edit this sacred post to ensure the divine exsistance of the Ten Commandments!

Amen.

*does cookie ritual dance*

LOL! -dons priest's clothes-

Would you like me to do a more thoroughly King James version of these?

King James is always good

1. I am the Cookie thy Snack. Thou shalt have no other snacks before me.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any non-cookie snack; thou shalt not bow thy mouth down to them, nor serve them. For I the Cookie thy Snack am a jealous snack.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Cookie thy Snack in vain, for Foxee will not hold him guiltless, who taketh its name in vain.

4. Remember the Cookie-baking day, to keep it holy.

5. Honor thy Cookie and thy Foxee, that thy days may be long upon the earth.

6. Thou shalt not kill; except for the Cookie.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery; except for the Cookie.

8. Thou shalt steal nothing except a Cookie.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor, unless in so doing, thou aquirest a cookie.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's...except his cookie.

Enjoy.

LOL! I love this thread. Nice original idea, CG and good KJV, Teele!

Our Cookie Cult is now complete. Let the weight gain begin.

CG, you are hurting me here. Have you gone over to the cookie side? Then you are lost to us Dutchies forever... Stand by your licorice brothers and sisters, I beg of you!

ROFLMAO. you guys are still obsessed with Cookies from the OTHER place? ( ) I baked lotsa cookies today. Although I did bake a lot of ANZAC buscuits. But tehre were choc-chip and double choc-chip cookies too!

The IFCCoD is currently feeling very jealous LOL

CG is the High Priest of the Cookie Cult, iMazed. He has shown great talent in deleting cookies in a sacrificial way. Come to the dark side, iMazed.

Gloom....it COULD be because you feed the worshipers to the cactus. I'm just saying.

The followers of the cookie cult only flirt with weight gain and then dance it all back off with the ritualistic conga led by Jade.

It's a good cult!

Never! I will not succomb to chocolate chip... cookies... I think...

*iMazed secretly steals a cookie from the cookiejar and runs off*

lol! She has broken no commandments!

So, do we have any initiation rites for new converts?

meh I'll join, but won't there be other cults of different types of cookies. Like Chocalate Chip, Peanut Butter Blossoms, or Chocolate Krinkles

No DB, there is only one cult, for all cookies are the one Cookie, for it is great.

@Teele; Hmmm, some sort of ceremony perhaps?

New converts must sacrifice their cookies to The Great Cookie and learn well the Dance of Warding Off the Fatted Calves of which Jade is the high priestess temple dancer.

-bows and chants-

Oh wise Foxee, thy knowledge is like unto a wellspring, ever flowing forth with pleasant and sacred words for us thy faithful followers...

So...is it sin to take pleasure in watching Jade's Dance of Warding Off the Fatted Calves? Because this sounds like it could be just a little too much fun.

HA! You cookielovers with your silly rituals! No Licorician would ever have to undergo such things.

Long live the Blackish Goodness!

lol!

Though iMazed speaketh anathema, I am yet intrigued by the the name of the cult wherein she dwelleth. I believe it calleth to mind a passage of scripture to which we shouldst cling:

"But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Licoricians, which I also hate." - (Rev 2:6) NFCV (New Foxee/Cookie Version)

Even though thou art my Nemesis, Licoricians do rely on one basic law:

"And thou shall let the Followers of the Big Cookie live in peace, and harmony." - Commandments of the Higher Black Goodness

I shall heed this law and leave you in your ignorance. Anyone who wishes to join the learnings of The Holy Black Goo and be saved by it's divine light is naturally welcome.

The Followers of The Great Cookie have no fear of the Black Licorice Abomination for the Cookie is strong.

One must revel in the Dance of Warding Off the Fatted Calves, Brother Teele, and enjoy all parts of it from the sight of dimpled knees to ones own predestined participation.

Call us as thou want to call us, Priestess. The Black Goodness will prevail!

(Idea? SARPG; The Big War Of Cookies And Licorice.)

*car pulls up and guns come out of window, they fire the tiny fuzzies all over the crowd*

VIva La Revelution! *car screeches away*

-kneels before Foxee-

O, goddess, live forever! How beautiful is thy kitchen, O Maker of Cookies, and how beautiful is thy oven with which thou perparest them! Mine eyes rejoice, my soul leapeth for joy within me at thy sight, and at the sight of the Snack thou barest.

Woe unto thine enemies! May they not stand against thee in the last day. May thou and thy Cookies forever be blessed, and cursed be anyone who turns from this Way.

As for me, I am blessed beyond measure, for the honor with which I am endowed. What can I do, then, but to continue in the zeal and fervor which I have shown aforetimes? You shall have my word, my loyalty, and my Spoon.

-accepts the Wooden Spoon of Knighthood and stands-

-turns to the people-

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Cookie, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the kitchen, or the gods of the Licorivians, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Cookie.

-stomps all the fuzzies on my way out-